Marriage Isn't Bliss
by Twicked
Summary: MUSICAL! VERSE Wednesday and Lucas return to the Addams Mansion, only to become embroiled in their most serious fight yet. Approximately 1 year after the end of the musical, with nods to both Charles Addams and Arshile Gorky. Warnings for talk of divorce, torture, anger management problems, and overbearing mothers.


Wednesday didn't know why she had thought this was a good idea.

Sure, she loved Lucas, and she loved her family, but the two of them together? Even that was too much chaos for her to handle at once.

But she knew it had to be done. Her mother had been complaining that the newlyweds had not visited the family in what seemed "_like years"_ (when in reality it had been 4 months) and that she thought "_her daughter was forgetting her." _(even though she called every Friday)

And then there had been Lucas. He had been stressing a ridiculous amount, trying to find some semblance of a steady job to support them. She figured that a heart to heart with her father (or whatever it was those two did alone) would help him clear his head and get back to normal.

No such luck.

From the moment the pair walked into the Addams mansion, the night had been cursed. Lucas had been distracted, and fallen through a rotten floorboard, Pugsley had thrown a smoke bomb down the stairs, Grandma had gone on a gigantic rant about Wednesday's lack of pregnancy, and Bernice had tried to kidnap Lucas the moment she left him and her father alone.

Oh, and there was the fact that she and Lucas were now fighting. And not their normal, torturous, fun fighting, but legitimate quarreling. As in not speaking to each other and avoiding all eye contact. Somewhere during the two-hour car drive to Central Park, Lucas had managed to call her both fat and too skinny, slow, and uncultured. She might love him, but she knew he deserved the silent treatment for at least the night.

But then nights turned into weeks.

And her mother kept finding ways to keep them at the house.

And soon enough the two of them had both moved into Wednesday's old bedroom, both afraid to break the silence that had covered their marriage for the last month and a half.

That is, until Halloween dinner.

"I'm done." Wednesday looked over at Lucas, slightly confused as her whispered, staring at her.

"Done? We just started dinner Lucas, if you don't like it just ask Lurch for a sandwich or something."

Lucas bit his lip, shaking his head.

"No, I'm done. Done with dinner, done with Lurch, done with this whole goddamn house." Wednesday glared as Lucas raised his voice.

"Will you be quiet? I have been acting my ass off to make Mother think that we are still a perfectly happy little couple. I do not need you to ruin that." Wednesday hissed, leaning away from him in reproach. What was he trying to do? He knew very well that she had been carefully crafting lies of the flu and other various illnesses to explain why the two of them were never together except for mealtimes to her parents.

"I do not give a shit if they hear me. You know very well we are pretty damn far from happy right now. This is the most you have talked to me since we got here!" Lucas stood, drawing the rest of the dinner party's attention to him. Wednesday was forced to swallow down bile in her throat as she smoothed the napkin in her lap.

"That is not true. I have asked you almost every morning for assistance with getting dressed."

Lucas snorted.

"Asking me to zip you up is not a conversation, Wednesday! From the moment we stepped back in here, all you have done is ignore me. And you know what? I am done. Done with being ignored by my _wife_, done with having to avoid being molested by a squid every day, done with-" he gestured wildly at the now silent table "-all of them. I'm going home. Now, you can either come with me, or just let me leave; that is your choice." He threw his napkin at an open mouthed Uncle Fester, sharply turning as her practically ran from the room.

Wednesday looked over at her expectant family, internally cursing her overly emotional husband.

"If you will excuse me for a minute." She stood, following the loud thumping that she knew to be her husband running about in there room.

Quickly making it up the stairs, she threw open the door, wishing that she had something to shoot.

"Don't you _ever_ do anything like that to me again," she practically screamed, causing a startled Lucas to wrench up from his kneeling position by their bed.

"You know very well why I have not been talking to you, and you know that you deserve it. As for Bernice, well, it is not my fault that you are apparently capable of seducing other species. Now, calm down, fix your hair, and come. Back. To. Dinner." She carefully punctuated her words, getting closer to Lucas with every syllable.

"No," Lucas whispered, staring at the floor as he slowly stood up. Wednesday let out a held breath, internally listing the various injuries she would inflict on her husband that night.

"Yes, you are. Come on Lucas, don't be a child." She turned, crossing her arms as she stalked from the room, carefully listening for the footsteps that didn't come.

"Is that what you think of me? Like a child that needs babysitting?" Wednesday reached up to pinch the bridge of her nose, groaning internally as she turned around.

"No, Lucas, you know I think of you as a man, I just-"

"Just what?"

Wednesday scrambled, trying to find something to undo the obvious blow she had just dealt, but came up with nothing.

"Look, you know I meant nothing by it. Now just drop it and eat." She threw her hands up into the air, exasperated. A small voice in the back of her head told him to just leave him alone, but she ignored it.

"You know what? I don't think I will."

Wednesday bit her tongue at the suddenly prideful voice that exploded form her husband. "Well, you don't have a choice, now do you. Get over here and come to dinner Lucas."

"No."

"For God's sake Lucas, stop acting like a toddler!"

"There's that hot-button word again."

"Oh my god, you know what? You are. You are acting like a child. I married a man-child."

"You certainly didn't think that at the time!"

"Well, I have obviously learned the error or my ways."

Wednesday froze as the words slipped from her throat, watching helplessly as Lucas absorbed the words, his bravado falling to show an amount of pain she had not seen in his eyes before. Yes, she knew what he looked like in physical pain, but this went beyond that. She knew no matter how hard she tried she was not getting those words back.

Still, she had to try.

"Lucas, no. I didn't mean it like-"

"Like hell you didn't," Lucas growled, storming past her. Wednesday turned helplessly as her husband bounded down the staircase and out the door.

Lucas wandered blindly through the woods surrounding the Addams property, cursing his lack of an internal compass. He had tried to find the car, but had somehow managed to end up what had to be a mile into dense foliage.

Kicking a tree stump, Lucas sat down, staring at the ebony sky with a strange kind of hatred.

_"Well, I have obviously learned the error of my ways."_

What did that even mean? Yes, he knew that he had put his foot in every orifice he had on the first day they had come, but he didn't think it had been that bad. Embarrassing, sure, but nothing that would make Wednesday that mad at him.

_Certainly not mad enough to regret marrying me._

Or maybe she had already been for a while. Maybe the day after they were married, she woke up and realized that she had trapped herself with a man she had no intention of living her life with.

It was that thought that embedded itself in Lucas's memory, blinding very happy memories he had of their first year of marriage. Suddenly, every touch was coated with a layer of disgust, every smile a hidden sneer, every apology false. He pawed at his face, trying to force the altered memories back into his mind, fighting the urge to cry as he heard the words repeated in his head over and over

_Well, I have obviously learned the error of my ways._

_The error of my ways._

_The error._

Lucas screamed, throwing his hands to his sides in a moment of animalistic pain, screeching. He gasped, leaning forward onto his arms when he saw her. Wednesday was standing there, silhouetted by the ever-present moon.

"What are you doing here?" Lucas internally kicked himself at how hoarse his voice sounded.

"I came to apologize." Wednesday took a tentative step forward, watching her husband's face attentively. She had never heard a sound like that come from him before, and she had thought she knew all of his expressions of pain.

"Look, just go. You have made your point; do you really need to twist the knife?" Lucas laughed blankly. "Oh, that's right. You like to see me in as much pain as possible. Forgot about that little tidbit. Well, you succeeded. Convinced the helpless little boy from Ohio that you loved him and didn't realize you had taken the joke too far until you had married the bastard. Well? How right am I?" Lucas remained seated, but his head was craned to stare over tear streaked cheeks at the still form of his wife. Hell, even like this, in the middle of the forest, right before she confessed her lack of affection, she still looked beautiful. He hated himself.

Wednesday took a shaky breath, taking a few more steps toward Lucas.

"No, Lucas, no. I would never-"

"What? Lie to me? Mislead me? Hurt me? Well, I am sorry to say you have done all of them more times than I can even count. If you just wanted a divorce, you could have just told me. You didn't need to drag me here, ignoring me until I went away."

Wednesday's eyes widened.

"No, Lucas, I don't want-"

"Don't want what? To have to deal with divorce lawyers? Well, no need to worry; you can have everything. I don't care. Hell, I might as well go the way of Gorsky and just hang myself. Saves you the trouble of even having to get divorce papers."

Wednesday stepped forward quickly, wrapping her hands tightly around her husband's shaking shoulders.

"Don't you dare."

"What?" Lucas looked up into Wednesdays suddenly passionate eyes.

"Don't you dare kill yourself. We are not getting divorced; I am not leaving you, and you. Need. To. Calm. Down." And at that, she crashed her lips against his, trying to push every ounce of love she had for him into the simple action.

In what seemed like hours, but was probably minutes, Wednesday broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his.

"Lucas, I am so sorry. You know I did not mean it. I could not survive without you. Ever since I met you, I have not felt like a person without you by my side."

Lucas nodded, much to Wednesday's joy.

"I am not going back into dinner, though," Wednesday laughed quietly, pulling her husband closer to her.

"I didn't think you were."

**Authors Note: **

Gorky, Arshile (1904-1948)  
Armenian-born American painter

His studio burned down, his wife left him, his health deteriorated and he had no money. He hanged himself.

This is my first foray into the Addams Family Musical fandom aside from making edits and squealing, so I would really appreciate a review. Lots of love to the wonderful marzipanandminutiae for editing this!


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